dyingdancer

i've ballooned up to 135. disgusting. im depressed, so im eating. i get fatter, so i get more depressed. im just so worn out with school and work and family. i havent gone for a run in about 4 weeks. Yes, I dance 3x a week, but that's not enough for weight loss. I don't care about school anymore. i have to start making more time for me. i dont want to go to grad school anymore, so right now, it's just a matter of passing my classes. i dont have to kill myself for A's anymore, since it really doesnt make a difference.

my eating plan until ive lost 10 pounds:
breakfast: bagel + egg whites: 200
lunch: bagel + turkey: 225
pre-work snack: yogurt: 100
dinner: bagel + turkey: 225
nighttime snack: yogurt: 100
unlimited crystal light and diet mountain dew.
total: 850/day.
i have to run at 3 days/week. i dance 3 days/week. so that gives me one day as an off day.

i need to do this. i cant handle my weight anymore. im ashamed of how i look. im ashamed of how much im eating. im ashamed of how much money im spending on food. its gross. im gross. i need help.