dyingdancer

 LAST NIGHT WAS SHIT
im so mad at myself

i was 54 kg and then i weighed this morning and im 57!

i pigged out with my friends i feel so shit
doritos,chips,biscuts,chocolate pudding
ERGH
pancakes in the morning


i feel so shit i shouldnt be allowed to live!

i couldnt purge it up either because they were all over there

so i was just wondering if its too late to purge it up?
will it work or am i just wasting my time?

im going to run for 2 hours tonight
and 200 crunches

i reaaly need to know as soon as possible
thankyou girls ♥

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

So I know that I was supposed to be 155 today, but I honestly know why my weight wwas up. 1st of all, it had been like 2 days since my last BM and the food weight deinitely increased my weight. Also, I literally chugged 1 litre of water right before bed. So fod weight+water weight=2 lbs up from yesterday. I was back down to 155.5 by the time I got home and that's AFTER the potluck, which went well BTW. My arroz con leche turned out perfecto. I had two spoonfuls of that, one spoonful of guac with as many chips and 1/2 an enchilada....oh yeah, and a small slice of cake without the icing. So I'm proud of myself for not turning the day into a binge fest. I had the rest of my sandwhich from last night when I went out to eat. It was half a sandwhich minus the top half of the bread...so not too bad. I'm done for the day though. My task this weekend is to maintain at 155. If I end up losing weight, then great, but it'll be 10x harder to not b/p over the weekend. I'm also going to a birthday party tomorrow afternoon. I don't think I'll be eating any more than is necessary to not be rude by rejecting their hospitable food offerings. I'm going over to my sis's house and playing the sims. Gonna see my niece and nephew!! BTW, my second nephew was born on tuesday! That's the second baby boy in a 1.5 month period. Did I ever post pictures of the babies?  I can't remember.

Later Ladies and good luck this weekend!

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Hey girls-
Please don't laugh at the stupidity of this question but is it true that you gain around five pounds during your period? Simply of water weight that is. I weighed myself this morning after not doing so for a couple of weeks and was horrified to find I was five pounds heavier than before. Then I got my period later that morning and am praying that is the reason why. Thoughts?
Thanks girls and stay strong-
PS; I'm going on a grapefruit diet if anyone would like to join me-I'm still eating a bit as to not fuck up my metabolism :).

height: 5' 7"
hw: 147
lw: 117
cw: 125 =[

i would like to lose 10-15 lbs. in the next 2 to 3 weeks so if have any advice i'm open to it.
thanks.
kelsey

woohoo! my 2 weeks work experience is OVER! this means that i don't have to eat lunch every day anymore! btw...i had to during work experience because i did it with a friend and that particular one CAN'T find out! ever!! i've decided that i'm going to cut down and down on calories so that when i go back to college in september, i'm only having around 200. thats my plan. i want to be a changed person!
xx think thin xx

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Today i weigh 116.6... I really wasnt expecting that!

I need suggstions for...
sleeping pills
Laxatives
Diet pills

Where from?
How much?

I wanna get a red and purple bracelet too!

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

 I was a mili centimeter away from binging but you know
as i stuffed that piece of cake in my mouth
i chewed
and then i spat it out because i new that i would feel like shit afterwards
i need to get to 90 lbs! or less! at least ergh im so gross!
so im having a spoon ful of low cal jelly,

just for some sugar

BTW

if i need to raise my blood sugar at school
because i dont eat at school
could i just have a packet of sugarine (low cal sugar) like 1 teaspon of it which is like 3 cals?
would that work?


or is it 3 cals with the water or tea or whatever?


xxxxxx stay strong dolls ♥  

so my best friend was over last night and I went on a binge stupidly I didnt care because I was in a great mood and I was very happy. we had a drink, and I had a "food baby" I ate so much, I watched a movie and went to bed. My bff is staying over another friends house at the moment, but tomorrow is the last day I get to see my boyfriend for two weeks and I am still in the red zone. I cant wait for next week because I get to run as much as I want everyday, I want to loose up to ten pounds before my boyfriend comes back. 
 peace and love<3

I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I binged today....... didn't even see it coming. Just kept eating and eating, all the while knowing how I was going to feel at the end. Well, when I got to the end I felt disgusting and full and most of all I felt the familiar weight of FAILURE.

I know that I'm capable of controlling myself. What the fuck is so wrong in my head that I can't see food and recognize that it doesn't have to control my life. I don't have to consume food to fill these voids inside of me. It's so depressing. I'm sick of hating my body and I'm sick of hating myself for being so weak.

I thought I might throw up after it was all over, so I sat on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet. I knew that I couldn't make myself purge (I've never had the courage to try) and eventually I accepted that fact that my lapse in self control was going to have to stay with me. I crawled into bed and cried until I fell asleep. I just have to keep thinking that tomorrow is a new opportunity to redeem myself and I can reach my goals. I'm still under 110lbs, which is amazing at this point- since it's almost like I'm unconsciously trying to sabotage all the progress I've made.

I saw pictures of a girl who was 5'2 (like me) and she weighed 95lbs... and she looked like I do now. I'm so scared that I'm going to get down to a low weight, that I thought was a ultimate goal of mine, and realize that it is still not enough. Will I be happy at 95? 90? 85? I guess I'll have to be. Does anyone get scared about this too?
 

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Last night was horrible,
i had a big fight with my parents
it sucked big time,

today is a new day though!
mm
this morning no cal tea :)

and nothing else so far

im nearly at my gw 1 of 55 kg :)
so im happyish,

just another 15 to go,

feeling a little emo today acutaally

but girls coming over tonight :)

eeek junk food.


xxxxxxx

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

I'm going on a juice detox starting tomorrow. I hope its manageable.
I'll post my starting stats tomorrow and how its going and whatnot. I want to do at least 2 weeks, preferably 3.
Hope the rest of you are doing well, staying strong.

Hello Loves
Work today was shitty, my hand is still slashed from Warped Tour and doing tattoos was hell because of it.  I ate to much today with some of the people I work with so I feel awful about that but I went for a swim when I got home.  And tomorrow I agreed to meet my dad for lunch because I don't see him that often. What should I do? The good thing is that Cas (boyfriend) is coming home from California tomorrow and after lunch I'm going to pick up from the airport, I'm so excited I haven't seen him in forever.  
Yesterday I finally signed up for my 4 college classes on Tuesday's and Thursday's and I'll work 5 days a week.  I'm going to be so busy I won't even think about eating.  But before school I still have New Jersey and Florida to go to, I just need to keep busy and I won't eat  fatty food just drink water ,fruits, and veggies and a protein drink every once and awhile

I want my collarbones and hips to be as sharp as my mind.
Good day beauties